Banana Heroine

Since their momentous touchdown in this land down under, Red Glove and Spatula Girl have grown increasingly disappointed with Australian advertising.

Words like 'that is so lame' and 'gooood nooooo' have been uttered many a time in front of television sets.

And why, you may ask, are your two favourite SuperFoodyHeroes talking about this now?

Well, because Spatula Girl unwittingly became a part of the Australian Commercial Industry, when she ate this:

This KingOfFruits caused Spatula Girl to suddenly lose her mind, causing her to sing this song:



like this:

Jill's Chicken Stew

On this cold Autumn night, SuperToes were freezing to death in the Balmoral Cottage.

Just like Popeye, Spatula Girl and Red Glove needed a pick-me-up, for their powers were fading into the chill.

So, working from memory, Red Glove put together a dish made once upon a time, by a Mother, for her little girl, Jill. (no not Jack and Jill, morons. Just Jill)

And just as it warmed that young child's heart, (well duh, wouldn't your heart me warmed if your mom named food after you?) Jill's Chicken Stew warmed the SuperToes and SuperPowers of Spatula Girl and Red Glove, tonight.

Ingredients:

Chicken Bones (cause we kiam siap [stingy], dun wan use real meat)
A chicken stock cube
two small carrots
one onion
Salt, Sugar, Pepper
Oyster Sauce

Method:

1. Debone a chicken thigh(save meat for another whatever dish)
2. Dump bones into a pot of water.
3. Take a cube of chicken stock to join the chicken bones.
4. Salt and Pepper it.
5. Cut up the carrots and onion, drop them unceremoniously into the pot.
6. Let it boil for a 5 minutes while you try to remember what to do next.
7. Sprinkle in some sugar, and drop in lots of Oyster Sauce.
8. Continue on small boil forever and ever and ever, till you likey likey. (Spatula Girl likes it soupey, Red Glove likes it stewy. So you pretty much have to decide for yourself how long you wanna cook it for. Red Glove says hours and hours. =D)

Warm.

Red Glove and Spatula Girl's powers of SuperSnooze have returned now.

Kon Lou Mien (Dried Stir Noodles)

SPECIAL EDITION:

A method section written by Spatula Girl (a once in a salmon pink moon happening).


Spatula Girl was the hero of the afternoon, whipping up a delicious packed noodle lunch, while Red Glove was off at her eleven hundred hours Counselling class. (SuperFoodyHeroes have to know how to talk to people that are in the midst of FoodPoisoning and vomiting too you know)

Ingredients:

Garlic
Any kind of noodles harder than mee hoon.
3 Cloves of Garlic (garlic fans can put more!)
Any type of Green Veggie
Sesame Oil
Oyster Sauce
Soy Sauce
Black Pepper

At this moment in time, Red Glove's head became SuperMuddled by Spatula Girl's instructions. So Red Glove SuperWrestled Spatula Girl into the Command Seat, and told her to write it herself. Spatula Girl then tried using a SuperToothBrush excuse to not write it, but Red Glove had the even better ace of needing the SuperToilet. Therefore, today we bring to you a SPECIAL EDITION written SuperPainingly by Spatula Girl.

Method:

1. Boil noodles for say 3 minutes, make sure they don't turn out to be too soft.
2. Drain noodles and immediately rinse them with cold water (according to Spatula Woman [Spatula Girl's mom], rinsing the noodles with cold water enhance the texture - can obtain "Q Q/ springy feeling" while eating)
3. Boil the veggie with a few drips of oil so that vege stays greener and looks prettier (can add a pinch of sugar too if you want your veggie to be more "cripsy").
4. Fry garlic in oil + sesame oil (1/2 of each, judge the amount yourself) till fragrant.
5. Add oyster sauce, soy sauce and pepper.
6. Pour in noodles and mix up with sauce.
7. When even, mix up with veggie too!

Needless to say, it was absolutely delicious.

Returning to Society

Ah,

After the wonderful explosion of food the last week, Spatula Girl and Red Glove are sad to inform you that the fare of the coming week will most likely be of the Microwave Variety.

For like all SuperHeroes, our two beloved SuperFoodyHeroes must return to their other life. Yes, the double lives led by all heroes plague these two as well.

Tomorrow, they return to mingle with the unknowing public, their secret identities safe within these walls.

So, gourmet food, we bid thee adieu. Till the weekend my loves!

(two week holiday is over, back to school, blergh)

Drunk Pork with Salted Cabbage

Served with Rice.

Spatula Girl's Drunk Pork dish tonight hit new highs on Red Glove's internal Porky scale.

An inspired combination of cooking wine, soy sauce, homemade chilli sauce, sesame oil and cornflour, marinated deep into the meat of a piggy, gave off a fragrant aroma deep enough to uproot Red Glove away from her engrossed mastering of the ComputerAdventure Runaway2: the dream of the turtle, to follow that wonderful scent into the kitchen.


"The Pork", before it entered frying pan heaven.


Spatula Girl at work. Masterfully tossing salted Cabbage (with a hint of Garlic).


The Final Rendering
"Drunk Pork with Salted Cabbage"
Served with Rice

Red Glove doesn't have anything funny to say today. The food was just too good. Red Glove out.

Antipasti Olive Spread

As dawn flew over the valley, Red Glove stirred from an enveloping sleep to be welcomed by a craving that tore at the edges of her consciousness.

Smashed Olive Spread. Mmmmmmm.
But being the poor SuperFoodyHero she is, Red Glove doesn't stock such healthy treats. But Lady Fortune smiles upon those less fortunate that strive to do good in their lives, and be Heroes. Red Glove's housemate, GreekBoy, has a SuperFarmerOfOlivesMom.

This wonderful development means that for the past 2 weeks, Balmoral Cottage has been stocked with Fresh Olives and Fresh Olive Oil straight from the farm.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.


The recipe is simple. Steal a handful of Olives from a housemate.


Then use SuperSmash to pound them into a yummy spread.


Put the Pounded Olives into a bowl, and pour in some Fresh Olive Oil.

Then pop them into the oven, with maybe 2 slices of bread (save electricity! use the oven! Not the toaster! Red Glove believes in The Environment, and in You)

The Result?


A savoury breakfast, Perfect for a morning spent luxuriously wasted in front of an excellent book. Such as Murakami's, Norwegian Wood:


Ah, the life of a Hero.

Rigatoni Beef Ragu

Spatula Girl's dinner inspiration is brought to you tonight by Coles, the Supermarket (Aussie's version of Giant, the Supermarket).

When you go around to Coles, they sometimes offer SuperFoodyManuals, where you can gather glimpses of Power.

Spatula Girl, being the Food Hungry SuperFoodyHero she is, picked one up, of course. And this has resulted in tonight's Rigatoni Beef Ragu.


It was really very simple to acheive the beauty you behold on this plate.

To make this dish, Spatula Girl enlisted the following ingredients:


Two Tablespoons Olive Oil, Minced Beef, 3 small carrots, Lots of Onion, Bunch of Cabbage, 2 Cloves of Garlic, 400g Tinned Diced Tomato, 2 Beef Stock Cubes, 2 Beef Sausages, Salt and Pepper.

Boiled them (except the Rigatoni Pasta. That was boiled separately and mixed in after the butchering that comes next).

And using a super high-powered SuperFoodyHero piece of weaponry.

Mashed them all together:



*splat, splurt, splart*

Egg Passengered Onions

Spatula Girl is busy with dinner, leaving Red Glove starving for a lunch she hasn't had. Her SuperTeeth started clacking away at each other, longing for a munchy.

But since Spatula Girl's dinner was to be a stewy concoction, it couldn't be rushed.

Red Glove decided to take matters into her own hands, and experiment with the 10 KG load of onions they had wisely purchased from an Asian Supermarket.

Thus was born, the "Egg Passengered Onions". (I couldn't decide between Noah's Onion, and Onion Boats, and I really wanted Egg to be in there somewhere)

Ingredients:

3 Eggs
3 Round Onions
Olive Oil
A tablespoon of Mayonnaise
Salt
Pepper
Dill
Fresh Parsley

Method:

1. Pop those eggs onto the stove to be hardboiled in a pot of tap water.
2. Start Peeling Your Onions.


3. Till they look like above. I left about 3 'leaves' on the onions.
4. Pop onions into an oven, drizzle with olive oil and salt. (I've been reading so many recipes and watching so much SuperFoodyTraining that the word 'drizzle' just came automatically. Have you ever said 'drizzle' in real life though?)
5. Chop up your parsley while waiting for the Eggs to HardBoil. That means you HAVE to boil the eggs. (Spatula Girl once thought that all she had to do was boil water, stop boiling water, place eggs in hot water, wait. So I thought it would be good information for the world)
6. Eggs done! Like in 5-10 mins? Peel.
7. Mash them up with all the ingredients. Like So:


8. Chill Egg Passengers.
9. Then later, when you touchy touchy the Onion Boats in the oven and they feel soft but firm (sounds naughty, no wonder I'm PG), take out.
10. Fill Boats with Egg Passengers.
11. Red Glove underestimated the amount of eggs she would need, so you guys use more kay.
12. Red Glove only had enough Egg Passengers for 5 boats. And since there were 9 boats, this kind of bad economy could ruin the shipping industry!
13. Therefore Red Glove decided to be multivegetable, and not discriminate.
14. She then filled the bottom of 3 boats with boiled carrots, and the bottom of 2 more with diced tomato (from a tin). She filled three other boats full of Egg Passengers, and laid a smattering more on the other 5.


15. If your math is good, you'll realise Red Glove retired the last boat, empty, into her stomach.
16. Decorate boats prettily with more parsley/carrots on top.
17. Lay a sauce on the side. Tabasco? Yum. But since Red Glove had none, she used her Tuai Yi's (Mom's Eldest Sister), patented home-made chilli sauce (which got past Aussie customs).
18. Eat.

Red Glove now going for SuperFoodyTraining.

Kids, don't try this at Home.

Just had to share this.

Kitch'n Mishaps rated as:


Because of

crack (x3)
knife (x1)

Red Glove Rolls on Floor Laughing.

Egg in the Heart & Grandma's French Heart

Today Red Glove has chosen to emulate a renown SuperFoodyHero, Mr.Breakfast!!! The first Recipe chosen for this morning was the Egg in the Hole Recipe. Mr.Breakfast is a super efficient SuperFoodyHero, and has kindly displayed his superfoody tricks for us, making Red Glove's blogging and cooking job much easier.

But of course, what's a Kitch'n Mishap recipe without trial and editing. =)

Egg In The Heart
Ingredients:

4 Small Eggs
2 slices of white bread
Some Sugar
1 teaspoon of yummylicious butter

Method:

1. Take a pan.
2. Scrape a teaspoon worth of butter into the pan, and melt it over medium heat.
3. Tilt the pan round and round, and back and forth, till the melted butter goes aaall over the pan.

4. Use a small knife, to artistically slice a heart out of the center of each piece of bread.
5. Place each slice of bread next to each other in the pan (if your pan is big enough. Red Glove's wasn't, which is a true oversight. She therefore did them one by one).
6. Crack first egg into the heart. Notice it doesn't quite fill up the whole heart.
7. Use a fork and move the yolk carefully to one side of the heart.
8. Crack second egg into other corner of the heart.
9. Sprinkle yummy sugar on top. It won't burn cause the SuperFoodyHeroes have a SuperMethod to not burn.
9. You now have 2 eyes!

10. After about 3 minutes, DO NOT flip the bread (This is our SuperMethod). Because then your yolk will look like this:


11. Instead, slide bread onto a pan, and place it into oven to cook the top.
12. Give it about a minute and a half in the oven, till egg looks done.

8. Slide onto a plate.
9. Make a Smile under Yolk eyes with Tomato Sauce.

Absolutely cute. Basically tastes like a sunny side up egg with bread and tomato sauce. Just waaaay cuter presentation. Red Glove and Spatula Girl recommend this dish to all budding romantics.




Since the Egg in the Heart involves tearing a whole heart chunk out of a piece of bread, Red Glove used her Super Surfing Skills to search out an interesting French Toast Recipe. Which is when she came across Giovanna's Grandma's Lost Bread Recipe.

Grandma's French Heart

Ingredients:

An Egg
The leftover hearts from earlier
A tiny drop of Vanilla Essence
1 1/2 teaspoon of sugar
2 tablespoons of Milk
1/2 teaspoon yummylicious butter

Method:

1. Take a fork to whisk with (whisking is just moving the fork round and round really quickly)
2. Crack the egg into a small bowl, add the ingredients.
3. Whisk all the ingredients together (except the bread duh, and uh, the butter)
4. Dip the Bread Hearts into the whisked mix.
5. Warm butter in pan.
6. Place soaked bread into pan, fry.
7. Serve beside Egg in the Heart.

Accompany with slices of Bacon and Onion, a cup of Milo, and the morning is perfect.


Red Glove out.

Asparagus Risotto

Spatula Girl's first try at a Asparagus Risotto.
Though some argue it isn't a Risotto without Risotto Rice.
And that it's just fried rice when it isn't fried with Risotto.
But these 2 FoodyHeroes belive rice is rice, so this dish is a Risotto.


Spatula Girl's super powers didn't fail her this time, as she managed to serve the dish at 7:30 sharp, but other powers out of our heroes control was at work, and switched time zones to create a black hole when SuperFoody Training should have been on TV (it wasn't on T_T)

But this disappointment definitely didn't detract from this super dish.


Excellent except for the asparagus, which was tinned. In future, our heroes will farm the asparagus. Fresh is best.

Strawberry "Lassi"

In the meantime,
Enjoy Red Glove's Liquidated Pleasure
A Strawberry 'Lassi'
In brackets because Red Glove doesn't actually know the recipe for a Lassi.
But to make something that tastes like one, use the following:

Method:

1. 4 tablespoon dollops of Strawberry Yoghurt into a large Mug
2. Judge the Milk amount to be a third the amount of Yoghurt.
3. Pour into Mug
4. Whisk.
5. Clear up mess.
6. Pour into glasses.
7. Use tiny bits of strawberry jam and plonk it into the center of the glasses.
8. Serve chilled.

Aspa-----

Spatula Girl's in the Kitchen.
With These.


With only 36 minutes left till SuperFoodyHero Training starts.

Will she make it?
Only time can tell.

"Boiled" Spare Ribs

Tonight, Spatula Girl opened the BIG BOOK OF SPEL, uh RECIPES.


From it's hard-covered leaves, a mythical atmosphere of possibilities arose, to lend Spatula Girl, Power.

Flipping at lightning speed, her finger came to a stop at the corner of the Porky chapter. Scanning with superhuman eyes, Spatula Girl ran through ingredient lists till she found The One. The only ingredient list we could fulfill at least 90% of.

Barbecue Spare Ribs.



And so, she gathered her tools, laying them out with precision and care.


But all was not well with the night. A cold wind was blowing in from the West. Red Glove sniffed the air, feeling a tinge of... something. Unable to identify the source of her brain itch, Red Glove turned to watch Spatula Girl's lite mixing skills.

Which is when the first hint of impending doom hit the room. Mixed amongst the ingredients laid out by Spatula Girl, was a packet of Paprika! What foul magic was this! It defintely couldn't maybe not wouldn't shouldn't couldn't perhaps be Spatula Girl's own mistake. But anyway, just as we put that hick-up behind us, real disaster struck.

The words 'flameproof' somehow disappeared from Spatula Girl's vision when she was reading through the recipe, causing her to use a not-so-flameproof casserole dish on the stove.

A shout and a clang brought Red Glove rushing to the stove, where Spatula Girl was hyperventilating.


The sight of disaster proceeded to bring forth Red Glove's own Super Powers of Cleaning Up Messes! And with some newspaper, a cloth, and a whoosh, all was well once again in the world of SuperFoodyHeroes. (Except for the occasional fit of giggles and finger pointing)

In the end, being without a flameproof casserole dish, Spatula Girl improvised, as all good superheroes do, and decided to just boil the entire dish, mighty morphing it from Barbecued Ribs to Boiled Ribs.


But now, with the drama of having to re-create her dish, Spatula Girl was running late for SuperFoody Training. MasterChef was on TV at 7:30, and it was already 7:31. Ding ding ding!!! She called for the help of Red Glove to establish her plating specialty, and then flew off to Training!

With a heavy sigh, Red Glove lifted her SuperAss, and, cursing the Wicked Witch of the West who was the probable cause of the Bad Luck Wind, Red Glove plated and served dinner.


Yum

Sambal Bee Hoon with Char Siu

Spatula Girl’s attempt to fry Bee Hoon Sambal Style.
Red Glove’s failed Char Siu Pork side dish.
Regular lunch heroics in the Balmoral House.

Bee Hoon Ingredients:

1 leaf off a big ass cabbage
Just like half a Chilli
3 Cloves of chopped Garlic
1 large chopped Onion
2 Eggs (add salt to eggs)
Sambal Chilli Sauce
Soy Sauce (A Spatula Girl staple ingredient)
Oyster Sauce

Bee Hoon Method:

1. Boil Bee Hoon till soft.
2. Chop up your onions and chilli, dump in to fry till onions slightly brown-ish.
3. Start chopping your cabbage leaf to whatever size you think is comfy for your mouth. Dump into wok soon as you are done.
4. Whisk eggs with salt, lay into wok, fry mooooore.
5. Make sauce (Mix all three sauces together in random quantities) while frying.
6. Do not repeat Spatula Girl’s flying sauce adventure. It may have left Red Glove in fits of giggles, but Spatula Girl mourned the dead soy sauce greatly.

7. Drain Bee Hoon, dump into wok with veggie mix.
8. Dump sauce in too! Mix, stir, whatever you do to get everything the right colour.

7. Ready when soft/looks yummy.

Char Siu Pork:

Buy Char Siu sauce from a supermarket near you.
Get Pork spare ribs from a pig.
Dump both into a non-stick frying pan. Red Glove used a teaspoon amount of sauce.
Mix, and serve like 20 minutes later cause it takes ages cooked as badly as Red Glove’s dish was.
For a proper recipe, use google.

And the Lord gives unto us Our Daily Milo

The perfected Balmoral breakfast.

Milo with a tsp of hot water to melt.
Fridge chilled milk to liquidate.
Vigorous stirring, just above the very bottom of the mug.
Chocolatey enjoyment flooding your mouth.
Teaspoonsfull of cold melted milo scooped from the un-mixed bottom.

Heaven.

Auntie Pat's Curry Puff's

Spatula Girl's attempt at Malaysian Curry Puff's.
Recipe by Red Glove's Godmother, Pat Chee.
Date attempted: 17/4/2010, Saturday.

Ingredients:

*To be continued*

Method:

*To be Continued*

The five prettiest at the end.


End Taste: They didn't taste like Malaysian Curry Puffs. T_T But we received a rating of 9/10 by Ms. Kristin Pastars, who was invited around as resident food critic.

Aglio Olio Penne with Egg and Bacon

Red Glove's foray into an established pasta recipe.

Ingredients:

250g Coles Penne
Lots of water to boil Penne
Pinches of Salt
7 bits of the Garlic thingy
1 Chilli
2 prigs of fresh Parsley
1/2 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Slice of Bacon
2 Eggs
Sugar

Utensils:

Scissors to open Penne Packet
A pot for Penne Boiling
A Draining thingamajig
A Knife for chopping
Something to chop on (experiment with table as chopping board: failed)
Cup to measure oil (note: a cup with numbers on side, not coffee mug)
A Frying Pan
A plastic/wooden thing to stir stuff in pan (if using non-stick pan, never use metal like Spatula Girl)
Small bowl to put eggs
Fork to whisk eggs

Method:

1. Fill pot with water.
2. Put pot of water onto the stove. Turn on gas, light fire, and boil water (in the pot).
3. Pinch salt and put into water. (I'm not really a pincher, so I just kinda... poured)
4. Pick up your scissors and cut open your Penne packet. Be civil with the packet, and it won't fly all over(when you try opening it with your macho hands instead of scissors).
5. Dump half the packet into boiling salty water (these packs usually come in 500g packs, so meh, just estimate).
6. Ignore boiling pasta for now.

7. Chop your garlic bits into teeny tiny bits.
8. Chop your chilli (make sure the seeds are white, not black, black is bad) into bits as small as your garlic bits.
9. Put frying pan on stove, repeat fire lighting procedure, and pour carefully measured oil into pan.
10. Dump garlic bits into pan to fry.
11. Stir occasionally with stirrer thing.
12. Wait for garlic to change colour a little. (like yellow brown, but not crackling pork brown, and not black brown)
13. Put chilli bits in with garlic bits.
14. Pinch salt (slash pour too much), and put it in pan. Stir.
15. Ignore pan for little while.


16. Chop parsley into bits.

17. Stop frying garlic and chilli when it turns even browner.
18. Check see if pasta is al dente. (I learnt that from the websites: means soft and chewy)
19. If pasta done, take out and pour into draining thingy to get rid of water.
20. Mix pasta, garlic/chilli oil, and parsley together.

21. Fry Bacon in same pan (use the leftover oil).
22. Use scissors to cut bacon into nice slices.
23. Take out when done (done: crispy? not? to your liking)
24. Put over pasta.


25. Crack Eggs into bowl.
26. Put some sugar into bowl of eggs.
27. Whisk with fork.
28. Fry in bacon grease that was in pan.
29. Done when egg becomes solid material.
30. Put over Pasta.




And it's finished!

Ours was too salty, not mixed well, and the bowls we ate from were too small, so it was really hard to get food onto our spoons without spilling. =)

And thus our heroes have cooked, splattered and gobbled their first blogged about meal! Stay tuned to find out what poor piece of bacon they will rescue next. Till then, Red Glove and Spatula Girl are off off and away!